Different Combinations of Love

Similar to the last post, love represents different types of bonds between two people. Love isn’t just for couples that would like to get married. There are also love between friends and between parents and their child. However, according to Robert Sternberg, a psychologist, there are eight types of possible combination of love and those combinations are based on three factors in a relationship: intimacy, passion, and commitment. This theory focuses mostly on the romantic type of love and describes the kind of love formed with different combinations of intimacy, passion, and commitment.

The eight possible combinations are “nonlove” “liking or friendship”, “infatuation or limerence”, “empty love”, “romantic love”, “companionate love”, “fatuous love” and “consummate love”. These combinations are organized on a triangle according to the three factors that combine to form different types of love. 

The first combination is “nonlove”. It contains none of the three elements and it is not necessarily placed on the triangle. People who fall under “nonlove” are usually considered acquaintances, also known as people who have casual interaction. 

The top of the triangle is “liking”, which contains intimacy. According to Sternberg, “intimate liking characterizes true friendships, in which a person feels a warmth and a closeness with another but not intense passion or long-term commitment”. 

“Infatuated love” is on the bottom left side of the triangle and only contains passion. Infatuated love is “love at first sight” and without the development of intimacy or commitment, it fades away. 

“Empty love” is on the bottom right side of the triangle and only contains commitment. It is basically a relationship without attraction or emotional involvement. Empty love sometimes forms from a stronger love, but deteriorates due to the lack of intimacy and passion. If not a descendant of a stronger love, it could also be from arranged marriages. 

“Romantic love” is in the middle of “liking” and “Infatuation”. It is a combination of passion and intimacy- similar to the characters Romeo and Juliet, where the romantic lovers are bonded emotionally and physically. 

“Companionate love” is a combination of intimacy and commitment and it is often found in marriages. It is basically a relationship that requires no sexual or physical desire. 

“Fatuous love” is located between “infatuation” and “empty love”. It is a combination of passion (courtship) and commitment (marriage). 

Last but not least, “Consummate love” is located in the middle of the pyramid. It is the complete form of love and it represents the ideal relationship that most couples strive to achieve. According to Sternberg, maintaining a consummate love is even harder than achieving it. 

“Without expression, even the greatest of loves can die.” The properties of each combination can be altered and changed throughout a relationship. Love can grow or love can fade, however it does not last if there isn’t a constant factor that is working in the equation.

Resources

Sternberg, Robert J. "A triangular theory of love." PsycNET. 14 Dec. 2012 <http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/rev/93/2/119/>.

"Hofstra University." Long Island, New York's Largest Private College -. 14 Dec. 2012 <http://www.hofstra.edu/>.